Changed
by SarcasticLemon
Summary: You’ve changed since you’ve been with him. You’ve lost the only part of you that kept you sane through the years, which kept that fire behind your emerald eyes. One Shot. R&R PLZ


Changed

You've changed since you've been with him. You've lost the only part of you that kept you sane through the years, which kept that fire behind your emerald eyes. It's been lost for a while now, since you've been with him. You used to fight it, used to fight what he wanted you to be just because that is how all the others were, but somewhere along the way you got lost and broke down piece be piece.

You sit in the common room in his arms, staring aimlessly into the fire as he laughs and jokes with his friends. He runs a hand through his messy black hair and then swings it around your neck, he wares you like I prize, like after 7 years he got what he set out to achieve. To break you down and mold you into the girlfriend that he couldn't have, that wouldn't let him win.

You admit that he was once your knight in shining armor, the one who used to save you, but that's not how it is now. He cant see how your hurting, how you long for those stupid fights that you used to have, how you keep yourself composed with every ounce of strength in your body. He doesn't notice the dim shadow cast over your eyes, and that just makes you wonder even more… does he notice you?

He kisses you lightly on the lips, and a cold hand seizes over you, but you do nothing to stop it, he gets up to leave, and you let out a sigh as he walks up the stairs with his friends. Your watch the fire dance wildly, and you wish you could be that it, be free. A single tear runs down your face as you think about what he has done, what James has done to you.

It was just little comments here and there like "Lily how come you never where anything like her…" or, "Lily your hair is too long don't you think? Why don't you have it like hers…" And you sit here in a mini, with your hair cut right up to your shoulders, and wish for something better to come to you, want you to be noticed once again fore your spike, not the heals.

You love him, yes its true, but you don't love what he has done to you, you don't love the way he has hurt you.

It was only a week ago Remus and you were at his Quidditch match, you cheering wildly, with a fake grin as James scored another goal. Remus watched you, you knew he would though, he always has. And when you glanced over to him, he looked away sadness present in his eyes. "What is it Re?" "Your not Lily, Lily doesn't like Quidditch." "Well I changed Re, you know people change." "Some not for the better." He gave you one last glance and walked away, just away, and has not talked to you since.

You hear footsteps, and quickly wipe away the tear so fresh and yet so hard on your face. You don't bother to turn around and see who it is, you don't care, this happens every day, you sit on the same couch, with the same sullen look, wanting out to be free.

"Lily?"

"Oh James it you."

"Lily, I forgot you say I love you." He does a slick half smile, and look at you waiting for a reply.

"I love you to James." You look down, this seem to please him and he leaves, and once again you are alone, but its not a good thing, not pleasing to you, or the ones who were once so close to you. You've changed over the years, changed with age, changed with time, changed with misfortune, changed with him. You were once so amazing, so wonderful, and few people still see the passion through your eyes, the passion that never truly left you.

And still through all this you stay with him. You hate him, you think, you despise him. But really you despise yourself, for letting him do this to you, letting him make you become the person you are now. Its not your fault though, you fell, and you cant get back up, and the more you try the deeper you fall. It's a vicious cycle. The only thing you can do now is plaster a smile on your face, ad wait until tomorrow night, when you will be back here again, wishing for when the time will come when you can grow your hair out, and be the Lily you were meant to be.

End

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